Yesterday, as I was walking to my car, I realized that 18 years ago I graduated from high school. Now, at age 36, I am moving to a new country, to a new language and to a new way of life. Some might say that this is just a mid-life crisis. In some ways it is.
Ever since high school, I have been struggling with the idea of dedicating my life to God’s people. I have always wanted to become a priest. I have always felt that serving the Church is what I should be doing. But, I have never followed through. Sometimes it was me saying ‘no’. Sometimes it was someone else saying ‘no’.
Now that another 18 years of my life has passed, I am ready to say ‘yes’. But, just as before, I needed someone else to say ‘yes’ too. On Monday, May 4th, I received a very short email. It was that other ‘yes’, I was waiting for.
One short sentence changed my life. In a poor imitation of the first apostles who left their nets to follow Christ, I gave notice to my employer. I gave up a good job, a good salary, and most of what I owned. 18 years after graduating high school, I am back at the same place. I am embarking on a new journey. I do not know where it will take me. I don’t know who I will meet along the way. I don’t know what I will become.
However, I do know that during the First Vespers of the Feast of St. Augustine I will be clothed in the habit and will receive a new name. This is a reminder of what Paul said to the Ephesians:
Be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self, created in God’s way in righteousness and holiness of truth. Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, for we are members one of another. … All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.
I will use this blog to document the path I have chosen to follow.
O Lord, how entirely needful is your grace for me, to begin my good work, to go on with it, and to accomplish it. For without grace I can do nothing, but in You I can do all things, when your grace strengthens me. — Thomas a Kempis
#1 by Billy on May 30th, 2009
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Michael, I wouldn’t view this as starting over after 18 years, but rather these past 18 years were, in some way, a preparation for this new chapter in your life. Prov 3:5, 4:10 ” Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…, but listen to what God has to say and that wisdom will not cause you to stumble.”
What a great demonstration of courage and integrety and I am proud of your decision. “Now go and step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress adventure that awaits you!” (I’ll let you guess where that quote is from).
Billy
#2 by Sally Davidson on May 30th, 2009
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Michael… I’ve known your Mom since we were in 7th grade (wow, that was a long time ago! 1962 )… and have followed all of you for years on emails and in Christmas cards. Good luck in this new calling for your life. You have obviously considered the options and it’s not a “mid-life crisis” to join an order. Good luck with your future. I’ll be interested to follow you through your Mom’s emails! Best wishes… Sally
#3 by rick on May 31st, 2009
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Honoring your beliefs is so rare as to be breathtaking. I will eagerly await updates to this journal of your journey. Godspeed my friend.